Something that most people are certain of and have considered when they think about is their funeral music or their funeral song. Music is one of the most popular ways to communicate a person’s individuality and offers a piece of them to the people who are mourning for them. Some songs are definitely more popular than others and in this post we are exploring some of the most popular funeral songs. Using ‘mainstream’ music in funerals has become more and more popular in the last fifty years and helps to create a moment of life celebration when a song is played that fondly reminds people of a loved one in times when comfort is needed. So what are the 6 most popular funeral songs? Angels – Robbie Williams Released in 1997, Angels has become a modern classic and one of the most popular funeral songs of our generation. Although it is over 2 decades old this Robbie William’s anthem has never lost its popularity, it is a powerful song that everybody knows, which makes it a perfect choice for a funeral song. My Way – Frank Sinatra  Released in 1969, this Frank Sinatra classic is a very popular choice for funeral as the lyrics and build of the song is reflective of a ‘final goodbye’. It is the ultimate tribute to a life well lived and continues to top polls for the most popular funeral song in the UK. Flying Without Wings – Westlife  Westlife are known for their power ballads, but particularly Flying Without Wings is one of their most popular songs. It’s uplifting lyrics and reflection on everlasting love makes it an absolute favourite for funerals. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life – Eric Idle A flip on the classic ballad, Always Look On The Bright Side is a popular alternative choice to a sad ballad and offers a brighter, happier reaction to celebrating the life of a loved one. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion Made popular by the blockbuster Titanic, this Celine classic has become a funeral favourite. The song reflects on everlasting love and the lyrics are fitting for remembering a loved one who has passed. Time To Say Goodbye – Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman  A hugely popular song chosen for funerals is this Italian classic that Boncelli remastered in 1996 with Sarah Brightman that offered more English lyrics. It has become a funeral favourite for many reasons, most obviously the title speaks for itself. Whatever you decide to choose, music is a great way to communicate different sides to your passed loved one, and gives people something to take away from the funeral that will remind guests of them for a lifetime.

A condolence message is a great way to express your sympathies to a grieving family or friend who have recently lost a loved one. There are so many touching and personal elements you can add to a condolence message and today we are sharing tips on writing a condolence message as you may be finding it difficult to put pen to paper on what exactly you feel like you want and need to say. OPENING YOUR MESSAGE When you begin your letter an easy way to offer your initial condolences is to express your sadness on their loved one passing and offer your deepest sympathies. Starting the letter by acknowledging the friends and family of the lost loved one, shows that you care and are sympathetic to a traumatic time in their lives. BRING BACK MEMORIES If you have a particularly fond memory of their loved one, share it with the family and friends you are writing to. People take great comfort in reminiscing about moments shared and memories made with a passed loved one and writing a fond memory in your condolence note can bring comfort and happiness to a grieving family. Telling stories of how they lived rather than focusing on how they died is a much more positive and comforting outlook for those in great pain. KEEP IT SHORT & SIMPLE  Keeping your condolence message short & simple is important when the family will be receiving so many messages of sympathy. There is no need for a 2,500 word essay, being clear, concise and sending a quick message to let you know that you are thinking of them in this difficult time is more than sufficient. CLOSE WITH SYMPATHY & OFFERING Closing your condolence letter should revert back to expressing your sympathies and offering support or help if needed at this difficult time for the family. Leaving a feeling of kindness and consideration is a great way to close your message. Condolence messages can be uncomfortable to write, but receiving them can be of great comfort and significance to a grieving family and is a considerate thing to do for somebody who is experiencing a difficult time. Grieving can be a lonely process, so letting those who are suffering know that you are thinking of them can be a wonderful thing to do for somebody.

Adding those personal touches to a funeral doesn’t need to be as expensive as you might think. There are many ways you can personalise a funeral without spending ridiculous amounts of money whilst ensuring that you provide a fitting tribute to your loved one. PHOTOGRAPHS  They say a photo speaks a thousand words and we think that is very true. Is there anything more personal than using photos to reflect on memories with a passed loved one? Bringing back memories between friends and family will create pleasant and nostalgic moments of comfort for the grieving. A great way to really encourage a great focus on the photographs is by gathering a timeline of pictures that span their lifetime which allows elements and times of their life to be celebrated. MUSIC Music is a really great way to add personal touches to your loved ones funeral. Using music to add a personal touch allows the guests to listen to something that your loved one, loved. You could use music in any element of the funeral service from the entrance to the exit. Music is easily accommodated at a funeral and a priceless piece of our loved ones personality. READINGS  Another priceless personal touch could come from readings. Story telling is a great way to really deliver a personal message to your guests and is an opportunity to share something wonderful or an insight to another side of your loved one that people may not know. Alternatively you could read a passage from a book your loved one enjoyed or a poem is another great way to keep it personal. POSSESSIONS  Using possessions to add a personal touch to your loved ones funeral is a great way to show a reflection of who they were. You can invite close family and friends to add personal items that belonged to your loved one into the coffin, or for example if they had a favourite accessory like a hat, you could put that on top of the coffin. However you decide to personalise your loved ones funeral, the need for a huge expense is unnecessary. Personality is priceless and showing your guests a reflection of their personality through music, possessions and much more will be comforting for people mourning their loss.

The death of a loved one puts mental and emotional strain on anybody without the added responsibility of arranging a funeral. It’s important to be clear and concise on exactly what your loved one wanted, and how best to make sure you get it done efficiently and as stress free as possible. In this post we are sharing our top tips on how to arrange a funeral and focusing on the important elements and priorities that any family with the responsibility of holding a funeral must consider. BUDGET First and foremost is important to be clear on what is affordable for your budget. Many people already have a pre payment plan in place with their chosen funeral directors or insurance that will cover most of the costs. It is a good idea to initially work out what your budget is and how it will be split into each element of the funeral. Your chosen funeral directors will have a wealth of experience and knowledge in the realistic expenses of each element and the resources to help you to get the ball rolling no matter your budget. BURIAL OR CREMATION The next thing to consider is what your loved one wanted in terms of a burial or a cremation. Although it is very likely that your loved one would have discussed what they wanted to do, however it is very realistic that the choice to be considered may not have been an option for your loved one, so it is important to come to a decision as a family what would be the best course of action. This is an extremely personal decision but again, should you need any support making this decision your funeral directors will be able to offer advice. ORDER OF SERVICE Planning the order of service is something that you can do as a family and is an important element to the celebration of your loved ones life. Choosing how your loved one would have wanted their funeral to pan out and making it a reflection of their unique existence can be a really endearing element of planning a funeral, which allows you and your family to reflect on memories with your loved one. You can really tailor the order of service to how you, your family and your loved one would have liked it to be. FLOWERS Flowers are a traditional and personal touch to any funeral. There are so many ways to approach the style of flowers you want to use for the service they can be as simple as spelling out a name, in the shape of something close to your loved one’s heart or you could use a flower that reflects the personality of your loved one. Maybe they didn’t want or like flowers? Something else to consider, if you’re unsure you can find an array of florists that specialise in making floral arrangements for funerals with a wealth of knowledge and experience. ORGANISING THE WAKE The wake is a more relaxed setting after a usually very difficult funeral. You may want to divide the invitation and only invite certain people to the wake. There are many ways you can throw a great wake that will be an unforgettable send off for your loved one. Great locations are usually pubs or social clubs where people can easily flow through the room, an open space where you can address everyone at once and of course, somewhere people can get a stiff drink after a difficult funeral and on an emotional day. Essentially, it’s about coming together to celebrate the life of an individual that is loved by and will be remembered by the attendees. Ensure that you book up your wake destination in good time to allow people that will need to travel a distance notice. Thomas Brothers Funeral Directors are passionate about making an already traumatic time for family and friends of a passed loved one, as easy as possible. We can offer support, advice and direction at all stages of your planning and help with any arrangements you may be finding difficult to get your head around.

Honouring a loved one after they have passed takes courage, calmness and love. A celebration of life ceremony is usually planned in advance as emotions can be very high when planning events like this. It’s mostly held in lieu of a memorial service, after burial or cremation of the deceased loved one. More and more though, traditional funerals are being replaced by ‘Celebration of Life’ events. Family and friends use this as a time to speak about and share memories of the person that passed. There are no set guidelines or rules for the event. It’s very intimate with close family and friends, held at whichever venue best suits the personality and lifestyle of the deceased, from a pub to a family member’s home. The possibilities of what you can do at the service are endless, just make sure to plan it in a way that will honour the deceased. A Few Tips for planning a Celebration of Life Event 1. The Guest list Determine the number of guests so you can plan your celebration of life where, when and how. Detail is important to ensure a smooth running of the ceremony. 2. The When and Where of the Event Liaise with out of town friends and family to ensure that everyone who needs to be there can be there. The event should not be tempered by travel-related issues once set. 3. Master of Ceremonies and Speakers From a Pastor or Minister depending on their religious affiliation or a non-denominational celebrant to oversee the celebration of life.  For friends and family a lot of them will be direct about their wishes to speak, yet some will need to be asked. 4. Set The Ambience, Music and Activities Showcasing the meaningful music of a loved one can help set the tone of the celebration. Music is important part to everyone’s life.  Finding an activity that your loved one enjoyed will give everyone a space to laugh and even cry together.

After you lose your mother, you may feel like mourning Mother’s Day for a while. Acknowledging Mother’s Day when your mother is no longer alive, can be one of the toughest things to do. It can be said there are two types of people in the world – those who have lost their mother, and those who haven’t.  

When a parent dies, we don’t know how we will handle our grief. There are many stages to grief, so we can imagine how we will feel, but we really won’t know until it happens. There may be some surprising emotions along the way; new feelings such as abandonment, anger or mortality. We might feel guilty, scared or alone in ways that we haven’t experienced before.

Help for When a Parent Dies

1. Don’t try to brush it off and move on too quickly. Acknowledge this event and start to let all of your feelings come out. There are many stages of grief that can take a long time to go through. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to experience them.
2. Identify your feelings. Sometimes we see a parent as a liaison between ourselves and death. You may start to feel your mortality more. You may start to feel anxious or alone. Even if you weren’t close to one of your parents, when a parent dies, knowing that they aren’t living anymore can still affect you.
3. If there are things you didn’t get to say to your parent before they died, it is still helpful to express these things. Write them in a journal, talk to a trusted relative or friend, or see a professional grief counsellor. Saying those things you always wanted to say can be important for a sense of closure. 
4. Join a support group for grief or bereavement to be with people who can understand what happens when a parent dies.
5. Learn how to comfort yourself. Acknowledge when its time to reach out to a friend or family member to talk about your feelings. Know when you need time alone to feel your feelings. Learn if looking at pictures or memorabilia from your parent is helpful or makes you feel worse. Everyone experiences grief differently so there isn’t a right or wrong way for you to grieve.
6. Plan ahead for holidays or anniversaries. You may want to do some of the same activities that you used to do with your parent, or you may want to do something completely different for a while. Learn what works for as you go through the grieving process.
7. Family dynamics may get worse. When a parent dies, your siblings and other family members may experience this loss differently. They are entitled to express their grief just as much as you are. Give everyone the freedom to grieve in a way that best suits them. If things become too intense, seek profession help personally or as a family.
8. If you were the caretaker when a parent dies, you may experience feelings of relief. This emotion may surprise you and others. Relief is a legitimate feeling that may also trigger feelings of guilt. Being a caretaker is a very demanding role and it is natural to feel relief when you no longer need to be a caretaker. Explore your feelings and talk about them with someone you trust or a professional grief counsellor.

When a parent dies, the feelings that come up may be intense and surprising. Some people might not know what to say to you. Other people will want to help but not know how. Whatever happens, be kind to yourself and seek out friends, counsellors, or other resources (books or organisations) that have experience in dealing with the death of a parent. You are not alone.

Understanding promotes respect for all. People’s different views on death and how they conduct themselves and grieve (or celebrate) the passing of a loved one can be considered sacrilegious elsewhere in the world. For Instance some people have conflicting views on the practice of intentionally ending a life like the below: The Japanese Samurai see the taking of one’s life as a way of redeeming yourself for making a terrible mistake as highly honourable. The modern world widely frowns on suicides and sees victims of it as people who were in need of help. In Switzerland suicide tourism has become a big thing with lots of people practicing Euthanasia. People suffering from fatal injuries or sicknesses who view their lives as too hard to go on with have their lives terminated in painless ways. Different cultures have different ideas on death and its rituals and this can give us deep insight into the people. Here are some interesting traditions practiced around the world. Mongolia Famous for “Sky burials” where a body is left exposed to the elements on a high unprotected place. This part of a Vajrayana Buddhist outlook about respecting the body after death.  Ground burials happen as well with the casket designed in red and black which are mourning colours. Milk, rice and clean sand are placed around the grave. Iran Iran has extremely long rituals that can last days, though the burial actually needs to happen within 24 hours of the death. The deceased body is washed nine times and wrapped in a white shroud that is tied in with cords to prepare for burial. The funeral procession involves massive crowds around the coffin as it is believed it is extremely holy to touch or carry the coffin. The mourning is split into very significant days: The third day is when a memorial service is held with huge flower arrangements. On the seventh day the grave is visited and food is given to the poor. At the fortieth day, the mourners who have been wearing black can dress normally again and a gravestone is put on a the grave.

One way to provide comfort for those missing a loved one is to memorialise the deceased. This can be done in private or public as part of a ceremony. Here are some ideas to commemorate the life of your loved one and to bring comfort during the grieving process and beyond. Showcase a Loved One’s Look in a Frame Is there piece of clothing or accessory that signifies your loved one’s look? Your aunt’s scarf, your brother’s favourite shirt, your uncle’s gloves? Seeing a photograph of them wearing it can bring you fond memories. How about having that piece of clothing showcased somewhere in your home in a frame or shadowbox? It’s like have a piece of them even closer to you and always around. Use Clothing to Create a Memory Quilt A concept that is becoming popular are memory quilts. These are quilts that are made from your loved one’s clothing. If sewing is not your cup of tea, there are companies who can do this for you. Gather some of your favourite pieces of clothing that bring you fond memories of your loved one. A friend of mine who passed away had an huge wardrobe of jeans, from acid wash to dark denim. A family member cut many squares of all the different jeans and created the most beautiful quilt for me. It was one of the most touching gifts and carries of lots of memories for me. The Comfort of Your Loved One as a Teddy Bear Teddy Bears are a sign of comfort. Memory Bears are a way to keep the memory and comfort of your loved one with you in the form of a teddy bear. You can design your memory bear with colours and style that remind you of your loved one. You can even use some of your loved one’s clothing or jewellry to adorn the memory bear and bring about comforting feelings and memories when you see or hold the bear. Honour Their Memory with a Memorial Bench Something we all miss is sitting with a loved one after they have passed. A way to honour them and provide a space to spend time thinking about them is with a memorial bench. This bench can have a special plaque with your loved one’s name and other words that are comforting to read such as their words of advice or something they always said. The bench can be placed where your loved one like to spend time or where you live so you can sit and feel like you are spending time with them. Some county councils allow memorial benches for loved ones to be placed in local parks or gardens. Designate an Annual Day of Celebration For a more lively memorial, designate a day each year to celebrate the life of your loved one. Family and friends can gather at a special place or partake in an event or activity of their loved one. Doing something that you loved to do with your loved one with others that loved them can bring comfort to all involved. Plant a Tree in Your Loved One’s Name A tree is a symbol of life. What better way to have the memories of your loved one live on than with a live tree? Friends and family can visit the tree or bring some leaves or a branch home with them each year when it blooms. If your loved one was cremated, you may find comfort in doing something with their ashes instead of keeping them in the traditional urn.  Keep Them Close in a Piece of Jewellery One way to keep your loved one close is to put some of their ashes in a locket on a necklace. This can be especially comforting during the grieving process. A Beautiful Sculpture of Glass This is a nontraditional idea, but could be a lovely way to honour someone. There are glass companies and artisans who will incorporate your loved one’s ashes into a glass sculpture or other item such as a paperweight or vase. Writing is the Painting of the Voice Another nontraditional idea is use your loved one’s ashes to make pencils. There are companies who turns the carbon from a human’s ashes into pencils. It is reported that a human body’s carbon content is able to make approximately 200 pencils. Sending Them Off with a Bang One of the biggest ways to celebrate your loved one is use their ashes as part of a firework. Firework companies are able to package fireworks with human ashes and include their name along with a prayer for a more personalised tribute. Honouring your loved one is part of the grieving process and can bring comfort. Let your memorial to them be as personal as you’d like and express the love that you have for them.

A lot of people feel uncomfortable attending a funeral and don’t know what to say to the grieving family and friends for fear of saying the wrong thing. No one wants to unintentionally upset or cause more pain for people. This article provides a few pointers for those who struggle with attending a funeral. Before and During Funeral Etiquette

1. Dress In dark colours and maintain a conservative look. Flashy outfits and bright colours are widely frowned upon unless it’s part of the tradition in your culture.
2. Make sure you arrive early. Respect the time that has been set for the funeral to start and arrive at least 10 minutes before hand.
3. Do not sit in the front rows which are usually reserved for family and close friends. If it seems not enough adequate seating is available allow family, the elderly and close friends to be seated first.
4. Make sure your phone is off or on silent so as not to distract the mourners with interruptions during the service. Also stay away from playing games or taking photos during the funeral service. Make sure any children who are with you do the same.

What can you say when someone dies?

1. Allow people to know that you are there for them if they need you. They might not respond to your offer at first but may later. Simply saying “ I am available if you want company” or “I am here for you” is extremely helpful.
2. Find out if you can help with anything. Organising a funeral can be overwhelming and in such times a lot of practical support is necessary to deal with all the funeral arrangements and everyday tasks. Always be ready to offer to help.
3. Do your best to keep communication channels open. Simple questions like ‘’how are you doing?” or statements like “I’m here if you want to talk” gives the mourning person an opportunity to speak and allows you to listen to them.

We take this solemn time very seriously – It’s our job to take the stress out of organising the funeral and support the family with the arrangements. If you have any questions regarding organising a funeral, we are at your service and here to help. Feel free to contact us on admin@thomasbrothers.co.uk or call 01527 547 777 .