Mourning Mother’s Day

After you lose your mother, you may feel like mourning Mother’s Day for a while. Acknowledging Mother’s Day when your mother is no longer alive, can be one of the toughest things to do. It can be said there are two types of people in the world – those who have lost their mother, and those who haven’t.  

The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”  – Unknown 

Everyone grieves differently and not everyone has the same relationship with their mother. Put these two facts together and it becomes understandable that the advice in this article will not be for everyone. However, we hope this article brings comfort and can be of help in some way.  

Shortly After Your Mother Passes 

The first few days, weeks and months after your mother’s passing may feel like a blur. Even if you think you are prepared, it can be still be hard when it happens.   

Family, friends, and coworkers will be sincere in their efforts to help your mourn. There might be lots of invitations to dinner to talk in the weeks after your mother’s passing. As helpful as these may be, you are still missing one of the biggest parts of your life – Your mother. 

Your mother is the person who was your first friend, your first nurse, your first confidant. If you had a close relationship with your mother, she was the one who cheered you on at your graduations, was a special part of your wedding and the person you looked to for advice when you became a mother yourself.  

The relationship between mother and child can run deep. When the person who gave birth to you and raised you passes, you can feel a sense of mortality that you haven’t felt before.  Along with your grief, your mortality can be another feeling you will need to cope with.  

Words of Comfort if You are Mourning Mother’s Day  

Feel Every Feeling  

There are lots of emotions during the grieving process. It is important to feel every feeling you have – Anger. Guilt. Sadness. Hurt. Relief. The list goes on.

Feel them all. It’s the healthiest way to grieve. Mourning Mother’s Day itself is a legitimate feeling. You may feel like being alone and crying all day, or you may feel like being around people. Whatever you feel like doing to mourn or celebrate your mother, is what you should do.  

Grieve as Long as You Need 

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is also no time limit on grieving. It is possible that months or years after your mother’s death, you could be sitting at dinner and a well of emotion comes up. Don’t push the feeling away or busy yourself with other activities. Take the time to continue the grieving process.   

Remember the Good and the Bad 

It is possible that you might have selective memory when it comes to your mother. You might think of only the good times or only the bad times. Keep the memories that serve you the best when grieving. Your mother was human, and no human is perfect. If you find yourself struggling with missing a perfect mother or a terrible mother, try to remember a little bit of both – Don’t make her out to be too perfect or too terrible.  

Whether you are mourning Mother’s Day or not, you will have bad days. One day you may suddenly,  desperately want to hear the sound of your mother’s voice. You might try to busy yourself. Don’t let this feeling or any other feeling ruin your day. Allow yourself to have bad days and know that the day won’t last any longer than yesterday. Find ways to comfort yourself during your bad days.  

Find Inner Peace 

Mourning Mother’s Day and your mother may last longer than you expect. Start the process of finding inner peace for yourself. You may miss your mother for the rest of your life. The pain will become less over the years, and you will find ways to cope, yet it may always be there.

If you can find ways of creating inner peace, you will begin to feel better. You will feel good again and enjoy life, so keep your mind focused on that if your feelings become too hard. 

Remember to reach out for help and support.